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No Fundo da Garrafa

No Fundo da Garrafa

31
Dez11

2012

Gitano73

The new year has sent a warning that he won't wait for me to be born.

I feel like the guy who is run over by a car and no one writes down the plate number.

What's this about new years resolutions?

I know I have to do some changing.. but I confess that I'm too weak to commit to it.

Smoking and drinking have to go away but I just keep doing it again and again.

People are never quite as they seem.

I'm ok with that.

I'm ok with just about anything.

I'm ok because I'm always ok.

I'm never "great" and I'm seldom happy.

This year I've learnt how to begin to smile.

This year I've watched my meaningless worries.

This year I've accepted that I'm just growing up.

I confess I'm scared to lose my lifetime friend

and I honestly feel that it's the right thing to do.

Hell is boiling inside smiling at my vices while I fight away

kicking and punching the air.

I have this strange gift.

I'm able to carry pain and suffering that the ordinary man would just blow up steam at only one percent.

I just keep bringing on inside everything I feel is hurtful and I try to purify it with the filter of my heart.

I never wish or intend for no one to suffer.

So I prefer to be quiet and save all the words that hurt me one way or the other and keep them as gifts so they remind me that if I'm still hurt by loved ones it's because 

a) they are calling for love 

b) I'm causing distress in someone's life.

This new year won't change nothing with it's arrival.

It will, however, buy me time to improve myself.

And give me a chance to be the best I can be to everyone.

And yes, I can do a whole lot better.

I am the wholly son of god.

(If I just let Him do all the work….I would be Perfect.)

26
Dez11

Tempos no tempo

Gitano73

E se todos os passados nascessem agora?

E se todas as tardes caíssem cansadas de serem vividas, a meus ou aos teus pés?

Onde ficaria o tempo escondido?

Onde ficaria o sentimento caído?

Todas as coisas se sucedem naturalmente

e todos os momentos nos falam sinceramente

Quando discursam, eu normalmente, não estou presente para ouvir

quando pesam eu, normalmente, estou demasiadamente compenetrado em mim para os desfrutar.

E quando me faltam entro em pânico.

Quero todos os momentos servidos em doses de fast-food.

quero vivê-los todos outra vez mas sem angustias ou sofrimentos

Quero só alguns, quero só uns poucos…

Não quero nenhum.

Às vezes esqueço-me que tenho algo melhor para fazer com o meu tempo:

Disfrutar os momentos que vivo…

é tão raro fazê-lo que cedo passam a ser passado

cedo passam a ser desejos meus de viver outra vez.

Neste carrocel incompreensível até para mim, descanso numa loucura saudável entre um sorriso e uma prece.

 

21
Dez11

Roots

Gitano73

The angels of the silences are quiet and yet restless

They don't invite me no more to depression

They don't drive me no more to void

We no longer battle. 

Peace resides and yet a beast is boiling.

Nowadays the beast is silent and is not really aching to come out

Go to sleep little angel

Go to sleep little one

I still aim for a room to rest

and drink and test

the almost silent feast of the ice

against my drink

Not that I need it

Just 'cause I like it.

Round here… 

We're all under the gun

We all got mortages

and dreams

We pay for the heavier ones

and put our ilusions on the cheapest ones.

silhouettes of make believe

things that we think that we may want

or not

The same things I spend my life concerning about

I can't stop thinking about

everything

I don't feel.

and everything I do feel.

I'm a step away from Jesus and he knows it

I'm almost on a feast of whatever he wants to invite me to

I'm not born again but maybe…

I was touched

by everything that dances within…

and everything that struggles without…..me.

People says I've changed

I'm no longer fun. 

Introspective and silent.

They can't realize I'm putting my mind in order.

Something big is happening 

and I don't know why or what.

But it's pleasant and I like it.

I'm coming back home.

13
Dez11

Fireworks in the rain

Gitano73

 

And the boy looked with watered eyes to all those color that exploded in the sky

He was watching fireworks in the rain. 

As the explosions draw colors in the void he let himself travel in his mind

He was thinking that as he wasn't present to enjoy those lovely fireworks

he was also not present to enjoy his life. 

It just felt like he wasn't from this realm. Like a film that went on with or without him.

Something just wasn't right.

A flaw somewhere has been spotted somehow by him.

In this melodrama called life.

How can people swine ashore when love is the water?

Why do they all pretend happiness when all they have is a self-resignation

That can't, by any means, be a limit. 

What barrier must we break? What inside-out spiritual skin must be undressed for us to see, feel and breathe?

Well… first the good news.. you can get there…

Now… the bad news… one lifetime may not be enough…

That boy, now a man, blames it on the rain for the present state of his eyes.

The eternal riddle smiles upon him and he gets mad

The man, looks at it all like a quest.

A road that has many ways

But are all as useless as his conditioned free will.

And the fireworks are no longer there….

They were never there to begin with…

it was just a journey into his mindless mind.

He knows… something isn't quite right but he's betting on anyone

with more credit than him.

Is he crazy? Or is he human?

10
Dez11

A Christmas tale of no interest whatsoever.

Gitano73

And the chocolate rolls on my mouth

Some sounds from youtube, mainly about christmas

My almost died friend, Mr Scotch is going warm on the glass

Lightning up a cigarette, listening to Josh Groban

the thoughts dance free

So many christmas have now passed me by

Some more to come

I really love this time of year

Guess I tend to come softer on life

and the dreamer in me gets brighter

and one of the dreams is me on a harley

driving home for christmas on Chris Rea song with the same name

The kids opening the gifts and magic on their eyes

Used to be there

but somehow I guess that that same magic remains through their eyes

and takes me back

way back

To the times that dinner seemed to last forever

and mom pretended santa claus forgot me

The anticipation and those boring tv shows

I guess it was all magical.

…and somehow….still is.

Merry christmas everyone. 

May your dreams come true.

04
Dez11

"To walk alone the lonely street of dreams."

Gitano73

 

Love is a sweet charity for the likes of me

A hobo on feelings like me.. 

Needs is it like the next broken needle on the stand

I am yet another one of the lonely on the parade for a better way

And… what's a dream if you are not there?

It is said that an image is worth a thousand words

This line makes me company when I think about it.

and I ask myself…

What's a dream worth, if you're not in it?

The night is a blade that can cut you in two

The day is a mending tool that can brighten you up

Scotch is no longer an excuse for all the things……I need to express.

 

 

"Take me home, country roads…"

03
Dez11

Hoje

Gitano73

Hoje teria sido um dia igual aos outros se, ao menos, não tivesse sido hoje.

Hoje os fantasmas do passado não foram páreo para mim.

Todas as vezes que surgiram bateram contra a parede da confiança do amor.

Hoje foi um dia de encontros com o passado e de aprendizagem

Todas as percepções da escrita são infundadas por quem quer que seja que não tenha vivido o dia de hoje.

Timidamente as horas passaram sobre um acontecimento banal.

Que teve o peso desmedido da antecipação de tudo o que nunca aconteceu.

Hoje, foi um dia bom.

Hoje.. foi um dia que sorri. 

E os gatos pretos, a dormir, não se sentiram ameaçados.

E eu era maior que o perdão.

A compaixão de todo um passado torna-se clara quando a inevitabilidade da necessidade se apresenta indefesa…

Hoje foram escritos salmos novos no livro do passado, presente e futuro de algumas vidas.

 

"A luz do mundo traz paz a todas as mentes através do meu perdão"

UCEM Lição 82.

03
Dez11

O guerreiro índio que não sabia ser vencido

Gitano73

 

 

Com o som das pedras de gelo que, incómodas, teimam em não se aconchegar no copo; reflicto sobre o adeus.

Toda a nossa vida é marcada por essa palavra.

Por vezes planeada outras vezes feita surpresa.

A verdade é que todos nós temos encontro marcado com despedidas.

Minam-nos a existência.

E voltamos vezes sem conta a visitar o sentimento de falta do outro que não somos nós e que não está presente.

Pois o presente..é mesmo o que a palavra promete….um presente.

Embrulhado num papel especial….degustado só por aqueles que sabem esquecer o tempo enquanto a troca de presenças dura.

A companhia que saboreamos no presente, pode nunca mais voltar.

Pode trazer ausências marcadas

Pode trazer um turbilhão de saudades fundadas.

Um adeus raramente é uma declaração de rendição.

por vezes é apenas um evoluir natural de uma situação

Enquanto o gelo derrete eu fico pensativo…

E cá dentro… oiço uma voz de inveja que sussurra…

"Espero um dia poder dizer que tive uma vida tão…honrada assim."

 

Um brinde a um velho guerreiro!

 

God bless!

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